A Surprise at the Cinema
by Married To Matt
Summary: What would happen if the Doctor saw himself in a film with River and it happened in his future?


**So this is my first fanfiction, I hope it's okay, I just thought it would be a funny idea.**

The Doctor groaned as Amy pushed him towards the door to the screen.

"Come on Doctor, or we're going to miss the start!" Amy told him as she practically dragged him through the door.

"I don't even know why I'm taking you to see this stupid film," the Doctor complained, "Even Rory agrees that it is pointless!"

"Actually," Rory began, "I'm quite looking forward to it now." He walked past the Doctor and grabbed his wife's hand as she moved down the aisle to find empty seats.

The film started a few minutes after the trio had sat down and the Doctor tutted gaining a disgusted look from Amy. As the cinema erupted with loud sounds coming from the speakers dotted around, the Doctor clasped his hands over his ears and shouted, "THEY NEED TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN!"

Amy pulled the Doctor's hands off his ears and said, "No, you need to turn the volume down. Honestly, you're like a child!"

The Doctor huffed and crossed his arms, a sulky look spreading across his face. He tried to concentrate on the film for a while until he got bored and felt himself dropping off. He prevented himself from doing so and looked towards Amy who's lips were locked in Rory's.

"Eurgh," The Doctor spoke as he covered his eyes with his hand.

Amy looked over him and smiled.

"It's only a kiss Doctor, it isn't that bad."

"It's embarrassing," he declared.

"Well I'm sure it's not half as bad as the things you do with my daughter some evenings!" she shot back, smiling.

The Doctor opened his mouth in response but no words came out. He frowned at Amy and then turned away and looked back towards the film.

He suddenly felt a small vibration in his pocket and reached in and grabbed the mobile phone River had given him at the end of their last meeting. Apparently, she was sick of him not answering the TARDIS phone whenever she called.

Amy looked over at him in surprise and whispered, "since when did _you_ have a phone? And who's been sending you messages?"

"I-erm-well I've had it for quite a while now and it's probably no one," He said scratching the back of his head.

Amy raised her eyebrows at him and then turned back to the film.

The Doctor didn't even need to read the name of the sender as he only had one contact. River. He opened the message.

_Sweetie, would you mind coming over? I've been terribly bored without you xxx_

The Doctor sighed and tapped his reply.

_I can't. I'm at the cinema with your parents._

He put the phone back in his inside pocket, not expecting a reply for a while. But, about one minute later, he felt it vibrate once again. He pulled it out and read River's reply.

_Oooh, what are you watching sweetie? X_

'Why would she even want to know anyway?' he thought. But he was incredibly bored watching this film so he decided to tap a response.

_Some Earth rubbish. 'Sex and the City 47'. Amy made me take her and Rory. Can't stand it! X_

The reply was instant.

_Number 47? Is that the one we're in? X_

As the Doctor read the message, his eyes widened. He looked up from his phone and stared at the screen. 'Surely _he_ couldn't be in this pathetic movie?' he thought.

_WHAT? What do you mean the one that we're in?_

He looked over at Amy. She was still engrossed in the film and hadn't noticed him frantically texting. The phone vibrated in his hand and he opened the message.

_Woops, sorry, spoilers xxxxx_

The Doctor groaned. This meant that he hadn't done it yet and he had no idea of what to expect. He could almost hear River laughing in his mind. He quickly tapped a reply, wanting to find out what was going to happen before it actually did.

_River, tell me now!_

He could feel his hearts pounding in his chest. 'What would happen if he did something really embarrassing in this film?' he wondered. He dread to think. He looked down and the phone and realised River had replied.

_You know I can't sweetie. How far through is it? X_

The Doctor put his phone face down on his leg and hurriedly tapped Amy on her shoulder.

"What?" she hissed.

"How long has it been on?" the Doctor asked pointing at the big screen.

"We've only been here half an hour Doctor, just be patient!" she replied.

The Doctor pulled his nose up and sent the message to River.

_Half an hour. Why?_

A few seconds later he felt the vibration on his hand.

_You're going to find out in a sec ;) xxx_

He replied quickly.

_What do you mean?_

But as soon as he sent the message he knew. He heard River's familiar voice echoing around the cinema and looked up to see her face on the huge screen.

Amy jerked her head towards him and said, "Is that _River_?"

The Doctor was about to reply when he saw the River on the screen rip off her dress to reveal her body. That was _his_ River on the screen in the cinema in her underwear! He heard Amy and Rory gasp and cover their eyes with their hands and at the same time felt his phone vibrate. He checked River's response.

_Hahahahahaha!xxx_

He looked back up to the screen, his eyes transfixed on her perfect body. Amy and Rory were the only ones in the cinema covering their eyes. Actually everybody else was doing the exact opposite and seemed to be quite enjoying seeing the woman on the screen in nothing but her underwear.

'But where did he fit into this film?' he wondered.

Just as soon as he thought that, he wished he hadn't as he saw himself on the screen. On a bed. In his boxers.

His face turned fuchsia as he saw himself grab hold of River's waist and drag her onto the bed on top of him. The Doctor watched as he saw River straddle him and place her mouth on top of his.

The Doctor in the cinema sank lower in his seat and felt his trousers suddenly become _very_ uncomfortable.

'Damn that woman!' he thought, covering his bulging trousers with his hands. As he watched the him on screen slither his hands up the bottom of River's dress he could take the humiliation no longer. He grabbed Rory's bucket of popcorn watching him and Amy hide even more behind their hands and made his way towards the exit, carefully placing the popcorn bucket in front of his trousers.

Finally reaching the safety of the toilets, he breathed a sigh of relief and dumped the bucket of popcorn in the nearby bin. The Doctor then ran into a cubicle waiting until he got rid of his erection.

He emerged ten minutes later but still looked very red in the face. Waiting for him outside the toilets were Amy and Rory. They both looked like they had just seen a ghost. The Doctor quickened his stride and kept his head down, trying to keep his head down but Amy grabbed the back of his tweed jacket and dragged him towards her.

"Not so fast Doctor."

The Doctor slowly lifted his head up to look her right in the eyes.

"I never knew you were a um, actor?" Amy questioned.

"I-I-I-I'm not," he admitted.

It was Rory's turn to speak.

"So what were you doing in the film with River doing..._that_?"

"I erm..." he began.

"_Yes_ Doctor?" Amy spoke smirking at him.

The Doctor shifted his feet.

"It-it hasn't happened yet. It's in my erm, future."

He expected Amy to scold him but she just laughed and said, "and I bet you can't _wait_ until that day!"

He scowled at her and straightened his bowtie. "When I get my hands on that daughter of yours..." he spoke crossly.

"What?!" Rory exclaimed.

The Doctor, who just realised how he phrased his sentence started to blush.

"I-I-I didn't mean it like that!" he said nervously, looking down at his feet.

Amy laughed and decided it was time to get back to the TARDIS. The Doctor agreed as he wanted to get as far from the cinema as he could, to avoid more humiliation.

He walked a little behind Amy and Rory who were laughing and shaking their heads.

'Oh that woman!' he thought to himself, 'I bet she forced me to do that! Although, I wouldn't mind y'know!' The Doctor shuddered at what he had just thought and sped up to catch up with his friends.

**As this is my first fanfiction, reviews would be very helpful!**


End file.
